For some people when they need a break, they seek out the comfort of other humans. When it comes to my break away, it’s music. Bowling to a certain extent too, but I’ve always relied on music to speak to my emotions and channel energy in a positive direction, no matter what negatives are thrown at me.
I know this works well for my daughters too. One of the techniques my oldest has been taught through Dialetic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is to use her five senses for self-soothing when she’s feeling out of control. I think music appeals to multiple senses, because we not only hear music but we feel it, which can cause our body to move in a kinestic fashion.
So tonight I went to a rock/metal show twenty five minutes south of where I live. I haven’t been to this particular venue in quite a while, and on a Thursday night in almost a year. Working overnights can limit your show watching abilities to the weekends. It felt like a family reunion as there were a lot of people from my magazine writing past and present, other bands I’ve either written articles about or worked with in the past and good friends I just haven’t caught up with in well over a decade. Thank you one and all for the conversations, catching up to find out what’s going on in your world, and just enjoying the music.
The music allowed me to regain my composure from another oppositional day with my youngest. Right now she’s in the mode that if you repeat what she says verbatim, she’ll still deny saying 2 or 3 words in the sentence exactly how you said them.
“I didn’t say I was mad” she’ll say to me.
“I didn’t say you said that. I heard you say your sister gave you an attitude.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m upset at her.”
And so the conversation spirals from there- hoping that I’ll eventually get exhausted and either end it or give in to her wishes. My wife and I have made a pact though- her basic needs will be met but nothing extra until she decides to consider us important and treat us with the real, respectful and responsible manner we know she can do. We’ve seen it in spurts, as long as 2 1/2 weeks sometimes- so I know she’s capable of it, it’s all a matter of her putting her mind to it.
We’re here forever, so if it takes that long, we’ll be there to see it through.