No one said change is easy. Believe me, through the years I’ve been very resistant to change. I think the stability I had growing up in the same house my whole life meant that when I finally had to move, I would panic and become defensive, wanting everyone else to take care of things for me. I didn’t embrace the unknown. The older I become, the more I weigh the pros and cons of change and have come to a conclusion that if you have a willingness to make a decision and flow with the process, the actual action and commitment to doing will have an impact on other areas of your life.
Take for instance when you wish to have your ideal mate in a relationship. Sure you can have a set of ideals and values you desire- but if you aren’t willing to be flexible to what another person has to offer, how can you commit yourself 100% to a relationship? You aren’t always going to get what you want all of the time in a relationship- there are your needs, the other person’s needs and then the needs of the two combined. I think early in my dating life I gave up too easily when the seas got rough- old boyfriends entering the picture, unresolved baggage that one or both of us might have had, etc. – and it’s easier to throw in the towel than just work through issues.
I’ve learned that you just have to plunge headlong into change and face your fears. I’ve learned when it comes to the sport I love that if I’m struggling on certain nights, what’s wrong with making a big change to see what’s out there than to just take small incremental baby steps as if I’m cautious and not confident of the outcome. My wife has helped me to realize that moving from apartment to apartment is not that big of a deal- you can put together all of your belongings months in advance, get the right people to help you move and then budget your time and energy accordingly.
For years I thought I had to change so much about myself to please others. Be it my wardrobe, my personality, my interests, my outlook on life- I felt like I was chasing an empty dream. Here me out on this concept- you’ll never be happy changing for anyone else but yourself. Do you want to sit there in a career that other people think is good for you- but you feel bored, empty or unfulfilled as you’d rather be doing your passion? Wouldn’t you hate to sit there 5 years from now saying, “I wish I’d taken that class- I wish I’d talked to that man or woman I thought was attractive- I wish I told my friend about my own business and goals- I wish I got that certification or degree to improve my career.” and so forth?
Become an action-oriented person. Sure you can plan out the basic goal and outline the steps- but after that plunge headlong into the doing. Make the phone calls, send out the e-mails, talk to people face to face- visualize your goals as real, set up reminders around your workspace or house, jot down your goals on 3 x 5 cards that you can review a few times a day. Brian Tracy speaks about taking 3 steps forward towards the achievement of your goal, then take three more steps from there. If you know you want to go to college for instance, you need to fill out applications, go visit the campuses and also get together the funding to pay for school. Once you have one part achieved, you’ll know better where to go once you are standing at your new plateau.
If I didn’t embrace change- I’d be alone with no friends, no family, working in the human services field for the rest of my life. You can’t wish and hope and stay in stagnation- even if you only start with a small change in your fitness routine, your daily diet, your circle of friends, pursuing a new interest or hobby, or planning a vacation you’ve wanted to take. Partner up with someone who’s doing what you want to do.
I look at change much like creativity- you’ll be able to use it comfortably with practice. Have a wonderful day.