The first monster snowstorm of the season has come and gone. Lucky for me, I got the chance to drive home in this for the morning commute. What worries me most when driving during low visibility on snow filled highways is not my ability to handle the car I’m driving- but the other drivers who feel that they need to overpower the conditions and must go twice as fast in a hurry to accomplish what?
So I spent this afternoon cleaning off my car, then when attempting to move my car I slipped and fell on the ice. More of a pride issue for my ankle than anything, it hurt initially but appears to only be a slight bruise. Meanwhile with the children off from school, one daughter continues to look forward to her birthday party this weekend while the other continues to be prickly with her porcupine quills.
Today we heard more of the blame game. On my part, because I’m male and because I lecture, she doesn’t like me. I frustrate her. Basically breathing in her presence at this point would frustrate her. My wife made an astute observation on our way to run errands this afternoon though. She believes that my daughter wants to be coddled like a baby, yet have the privileges of an adult, without acting anywhere near her age to get all that she desires.
I have to remember that I can’t get sucked into her past. I need to maintain distance from it. I can’t compete with her birth father- I need to establish the fact that I know I’m a good person, I know I’m worthy of love and respect and that sooner or later, she’s going to need me for help, for advice, for support, for guidance, etc. When she’s ready to treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated, she’ll gain my attention. But I can’t reward her for poor behavior and expect this to discontinue. I need to take a stand and be firm about my intentions.
I’ve been reading a great book called AdaptAbility regarding the changing times of the world we live in. The author gives a number of case studies about who best handles change and techniques that people can use to get by in these harsh times. Much of what you can do is to look back at how you’ve handle stressful situations in the past and see if you can apply what you’ve learned to your current situation. For instance, it’s easy to complain about not having a job- but you can look at your skill set and see if you can get yourself into some consulting or self-employed work that brings an income in while seeking out bigger opportunities.
We had a pleasant family dinner and it’s enjoyable to spend a few minutes each day catching up on what each of us is thinking and feeling. I think in today’s hustle and bustle lifestyle, too many people aren’t willing to slow down and eat together unless they are dining out. If you really want to make a connection, shut down your computers, take your cell phones away, keep the television off and just spend a half hour listening to your significant other or children. People feel important when you give them undivided attention.
We make it work in our family, especially because my wife and I work opposite schedules. We make the most of our time a priority. I want my children to know I’m involved, I’m there and I can be dependable. So it’s perfectly fine to scale down your world if need be, so you don’t slip and slide your way to obscurity in the hearts of those that mean the most to you.