Over the past few days of vacation, my wife while traveling has been listening to the talk FM radio station from Boston. The programming is different while the regulars are on vacation. We had the opportunity to take in a couple of shows from one of the weekend hosts Mel Robbins. She also contributes a monthly column to Success magazine.
One of the topics this weekend was about the bad guy/ good guy relationship women face and how they will get themselves into emotionally abusive relationships and feel like their self-worth and self-esteem are so far in the dumps there’s no hope for a better future. I feel like a lot of the same concepts are worthwhile for my youngest daughter to hear, but she’s not ready to accept the help.
There was a woman who feared calling because she felt scared of what Mel would discuss with her. Mel reminded her that when you’ve been in an abusive relationship the most important thing is to be here now. If you feel like now is a struggle for you, project your mind a few years into the future and realize that what will happen is different than what can happen now.
Her biggest point I wanted my daughters to understand is just because one person does something wrong does not mean that you should distrust the whole human species- and that it takes effort to remove yourself from an unhappy situation into one that is much healthier and more positive. You don’t have to repeat the past- you don’t have to repeat what you are doing right now. If something isn’t working out for you, do something different. Remove yourself from the situation. Play a game. Sing. Dance. Take action- instead of whining, crying, complaining, blaming and excuse making. Work on a solution instead of wallowing in the challenge.
It’s not right, but as a result of the stress within our family dynamics I’ve been losing my patience quicker and notice my words have been delivered in a meaner tone. I need to realize that my wife and my oldest daughter deserve my love and respect, not my stress as they are not the cause of it. Mel recommended reading the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and I think it’s a book that I need to re-read and re-apply in my life.
Tomorrow I will be back to work and back into my regular day to day routine. This vacation has been one to decompress and regain focus over what I want most to happen in my life. I have to learn that it’s not my job to become a people-pleaser. If someone is intent on having a foul disposition, they can certainly live their lives in that manner- but I chose to spend the most time around people who are life-lifting and who want to create enjoyable, happy experiences.
In relation to this be here now concept, I’ve decided to do one special goal for 30 days each of the next 12 months. There’s no better time than the present to develop new skills that will not only improve myself but I believe as a result improve the lives of others. I’m keeping each goal front and center in my written journal, and I will document what happens as a result. I’d like to thank Jack Canfield for this idea, straight from the pages of Success magazine.
Until next time, pay compliments to the people who serve you and make your day much easier. When you acknowledge others, you would be surprised how good it makes you feel inside.