In the book world at my local library, Will Bowen’s new book Complaint Free Relationships has hit the new item shelves. So you can guess with this being right up my personal development alley, I took it out and have begun reading this. I loved Will’s previous book Complaint Free World, and love the challenge he places on people to go 21 days without registering a complaint to yourself or others.
Complaining is something that comes easy to humans as I believe it’s harder to continuous look for the good in what we have in this world. When the weather isn’t too our liking, when someone makes a promise and doesn’t follow through, when we haven’t gotten enough sleep- any host of things can cause our mood to falter and then the moping and groaning begins.
Tonight would have been a classic example where my mind could have easily gone into poor, pitiful and victim-filled thoughts. My first game of bowling league tonight probably was the worst I’ve thrown all year. No matter what I tried, nothing seemed to be working. In 11 frames I threw one strike. To start the new game, I took out a ball I haven’t used in this center all year, tried a new line I haven’t played all year and threw over 105 pins better than the previous game.
I refused to let the circumstances of my past game dictate what would happen in the future. What good would getting down on myself have done in this situation? I could have gotten angry, furious, slammed my hand against the ball return, kick the walls, etc.- but in the end you need to have focus and assess situations accurately in order to perform well at any sport. Instead determination and support from my fellow teammates allowed my demeanor to stay in control, and as the strikes fell the other team would subtly suggest I go back to my first game ways.
I never accepted the first game as my final series destiny. There’s always a way to move around, above, below and on a different path to produce a unique outcome. In the end we as a team took what could have been a horrible night and ended up close to splitting the points for the evening.
I’m going to take this same approach tomorrow when interacting with my youngest daughter. She’s already expecting a certain side of me that she’s gotten to know through the years. What if I threw her a curve ball and became more of a laugh riot, getting her to smile and giggle at even the smallest of things about life? She already feels like the world is against her, why not make her face lighten up a little and then she can see that the world is literally out to help her, not hurt her.
I read so much because I feel like I have more to learn from the experts than ever before. If I can take 1-2 actionable items from each book that I read, than my time invested is more than worthwhile. I’m sure Will Bowen will have plenty for me to appreciate and use within my world. I’ll discuss more the items that I enjoy when I finish the book later this week. I’ve also got a new Success magazine issue to get through- Dave Ramsey is on the cover.
Until next time, write a letter to someone you haven’t talked to over the past 90 days and express your appreciation for the investment of time and care they put into your life.