Therapy day today. This tends to be one of the things in my life that isn’t exactly looked forward to fondly. We usually have to get on the road right after both girls get out of school. They feel like they have to move from one form of stress to another without much time to decompress. I’m attempting my best to make the ride as joyful as possible with the radio station dialing in the songs they like, laughing and getting their frame of mind in a different place.
My youngest daughter has a 45 minute session with myself and her therapist. If it were up to my daughter, I wouldn’t be in the room. Since she struggles with the family and home environment the most, the therapist disagrees with her desire to kick me to the lobby and have alone time. We all agree that right now, she can work her way up to having therapy without mom or dad- but she has to show everyone she’s willing to do the work and accomplish her goals as a result.
In keeping with this theme of acceptance, the therapist read my daughter a short story about a man who was having trouble with dandelions on his lawn. For 3 years he struggled to get rid of them- between pulling the weeds, re-sodding the lawn, using weed killer, etc.- they would always come back. He got so mad he wrote a letter to the Department of Agriculture for the US government asking them to solve his dandelion problem.
He did receive a letter back- but they told him the bottom line was, enjoy the dandelions.
My daughter got the message of the story. You have two choices when it comes to events that happen in and around your life. You can either get mad and angry about what you can’t control and stay stuck with what’s going on, or you can just accept what is and move forward. So we are choosing to accept the fact that our daughter has to live moment to moment, and show us that she wants to be a contributing, safe and productive part of the family.
She completed her homework tonight without trouble. She’s taking her shower now without an argument. Even when she felt that my wife was favoring my older daughter over her, she got herself back in good space by realizing that how she treats people at all times dictates whether she gets what she desires out of life.
To think at one time in my world I wanted boys, and I have two beautiful, intelligent and emotionally charged girls. If I make it 10 more years without losing all of the hair off of the top of my head, I’ll consider it a miracle. I do believe 2010 will be a better year all around for the family, as long as we continue to express our feelings in the moment appropriately. They are survivors and are very polite when out in the public. I choose to look for the good, even if it is in small doses daily.
So remember- there are many things in life that we have to learn to accept based on our environment and circumstances, but there are also other areas that are under our complete control. Don’t think the world is conspiring against you just because you have a bad day or a bad week- as the challenges will make you stronger. If you feel overwhelmed, take a minute to focus on your breathing and quiet your mind. Too many times we let small worries build up and then can’t handle the bigger projects.
Thank you for reading, keep up the good work in the start of this new year.