Well, it looks like momentum has come into effect within our household. The previous three treatment centers my youngest spent working on her behavioral issues only provided a brief vacation, as she didn’t really learn how to work on her problems within the home. Now this fourth placement has really stepped up to get all of the services in place for a better, safer and hopefully healthier return.
What does this mean for me and my family? Probably lots of meetings, and more therapy than you can shake a stick at. Both outpatient services and in home therapy. I believe we’ll be doing some component of individual and family therapy four times a week for quite a while. I guess the change in my lifestyle that I talked about yesterday is coming to fruition.
I’ll do whatever it takes to make our home harmonious for longer periods of time. When we helped our first daughter adjust to what a family is all about, she really wanted to do the work to be in a family. She understood that you have to put yourself wholeheartedly into the experiences, taking the good times with the rocky roads, to be able to get the most benefit and reward from a family. Are there times she wants to maintain her distance? Certainly. But I think she enjoys the love, the support, the help, the struggle, the push, the pull, and all of the fun times that come out of the teamwork and interaction families have.
I’d like to see my youngest daughter get off of the sidelines into the game. I want her to relax, let go and trust us completely. Will that ever happen? That’s all dependent on if she wants to be committed to a family. I believe she’s been so disappointed in caregivers through the years that she believes this is a permanent picture, and not something that can be adjustable. We’ll know over the next few interactions, when faced with daily normal household tasks (taking showers, finding clothes, doing homework, maintaining chores) if she reacts the same as she did before or if she’s really practiced and worked on establishing a new set of coping skills to live a better, healthier life.
Did I think this would take 4 plus years to get into motion? No… but there was a point a couple of years ago where I thought we turned the corner and she was making a better connection. I don’t know specifically what changed in her mind. All I can hope for is that she is willing to forgive herself for what happened in the past- she did nothing wrong and needs to know that the adults in her life were the ones making poor decisions around her. She was only a child. I want her to enjoy the rest of her childhood and not have to worry about adult issues anymore. I want her to learn that you can love again.
I will keep you posted on the progress as I’m sure it will be a process that does not meet with challenges and obstacles from all parties along the way. With change comes about excitement and fear- we need to recognize it, face up to it and work on the issues at hand. We will become a family again.