At least the weather forecast was partially wrong today. Expecting a boat load of snow, we have barely inches on the ground. We went out for psychiatry appointments and then went out to eat. Upon coming home, we had plans to do a major cleanup as we are having an annual inspection conducted at the end of the week. Since our youngest daughter feels that she doesn’t want to do anything around the house, it’s easier just to blow up at people.
She claims she’s mad at the world and that my wife and I do nothing right for her. Pretty hard to help her when she wants to speak in generalities. But we can’t live our lives anymore barricading ourselves away in the hopes that she’ll open up and reveal the pain, the trauma, the feelings that she’s going through. She doesn’t think we would understand. What human though hasn’t felt fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, shame, or guilt?
Fairness seems to come into play a lot in our household. If you have one daughter who’s four years older and at a different level in terms of maturity, we would be doing a great disservice if we gave the younger one the same privileges as the older one even though she can’t handle those responsibilities. It would be like giving every teenager a driver’s license without passing a test first to prove they can act safely driving.
We live in a reactionary world. The youth of today’s generation struggle to be held accountable for their actions and behaviors. I’m just not a big fan of providing all the love, all the care, all the nurturing, a healthy environment and the ability to thrive and my daughters still seem roadblocked to their pasts. I realize when I signed on to take care of older adoptive children that we would have to process through a lot of their past- but I don’t have to get physically and emotionally assaulted in the aftermath.
Something has to change, and quick. I’ll keep you posted on the progress. I know this entry is short and simple- but my mind is racing and we are having a family discussion regarding this situation. We feel like we are on a never ending roller coaster.