This afternoon we had a case plan meeting for our youngest daughter. I consider this successful because we looked at the needs of the family and my daughter(s) to see how we can get our household back into a fully functioning residence without a lot of the break down in communication and aggression that has been occurring.
No one said all of the plans will be easy to implement and we will see what will work and what won’t. But I think a combination of developing an effective communication style, a series of coping skills that will work when behaviors are heightened, and activities that I think will help decompress built up stresses should make our house much happier. There are plans to visit for instance the local community resources of a YMCA or Boys and Girls Club to see if these will be a good fit as far as sports, activities and the building of her social skills. We also have a recommendation put in for a therapy mentor, someone each of the girls can have as an outlet in the community.
The team asked if my wife and I need any services, and I put out the fact that I need my own therapist to help the situation. I’m finding I have less patience with the girls. Being the only guy I think there is a disconnect with who the girls want to take direction from. We have a household where both parents work opposite shifts. That means in the afternoons until my wife gets home from work, I’m the primary parent to help with their homework and after school activities.
We are willing to look into any and all services necessary to help our family cope and thrive. We wish we had looked into some of these matters sooner, but my wife and I debated the issue of nature versus nurture. You often believe that children will grow out of some issues. I believe in my youngest daughter’s case, memories are flooding the brain and she’s living off of protection mode. When she gets angry, it’s like a switch goes off in her brain and she doesn’t even remember who’s in the room.
This morning she spent a lot of time helping with the cleaning of the house- we find it’s a great activity to change her energy and put her in a good mood. However, it’s tough to find 24 hours of cleaning to do per week to keep her free time occupied. We want her to feel good about herself- to realize she did nothing wrong in her past to see and witness and feel all of the trauma and abuse that happened to her and around her.
I know I’ve spent a lot of time lately talking through family issues- but it has been the center of our attention. I do still bowl, listen to music, read and write because these releases work for me. Having a great sense of humor about the events in my life keeps me from going insane. We have a great team of people around us that are all looking out for our best interests. Don’t be afraid to do the same in your life. There’s always help available if you put the thoughts out there and ask for assistance. More to come in the next few days…