Yes, I’m inventing a new term. Verbal economics. What does this consist of? Communication in five words or less. Not easy to do in terms of my speaking. Why are we implementing such drastic changes?
My youngest daughter thinks I lecture too much. When I’m explaining what I want, I guess I ramble on a little bit. So, I need to be tighter with my language and thus five words or less will be my new motto to her.
What are the advantages to this? Oh, I believe my frustration level will decrease. I can save my throat and lungs from unnecessary exposure. And it will make me think before I say something I could confuse her with.
Tonight once again we went through an up and down evening of interaction. We didn’t realize that asking her to be kind, to not yell and to be respectful would be so challenging on a day off from school. At this point, the sound of my voice can be like nails on a chalkboard to her.
We aren’t giving up though. We modify, we look at a new way of handling things, and we don’t give in. Our in house therapist would be proud because despite her antics, she really tried hard for an hour to get an evening snack, which we didn’t let her have. When you are rude and disrespectful, threaten to throw items at parents and so forth, what’s the sense in giving her something that is not a necessity in terms of her food consumption?
Tomorrow and Friday we’ll make another plan for her time at home. Since she’s having so much of a challenge keeping her frustration level under control in our apartment, I think we’ll minimize the amount of time she spends her waking hours around that environment. I can find plenty of outings in our local community to keep myself entertained.
It’s interesting to note that she admitted to her outside therapist that her behavior is consistent with believing that we are mere foster parents and that the court only sees us as guardians. We’ve told her numerous times she’s permanently adopted and we have complete custody of her, but I don’t think in her head and heart she’s made that connection yet- to us, to herself, or to anyone else.
Am I saddened by this prospect of knowing that a mother/father/daughter connection really doesn’t exist from her perspective? I think so. I didn’t imagine having to develop two different sets of parenting rules and plans for both my daughters. I always hoped the second would learn from the first and everything would fall into place. But we are dealing with a young girl who’s growing up believing that she never was a good kid, and how can she trust any parents on any level?
I welcome any five words or less suggestions you may have. Outside of the obvious one or two word phrases, I’m sure I can come up with appropriate sentences that will be quick and precise. Until next time, I thank you for your time reading this and your support.