I think it’s easier for humans to take a look at what other people are doing and see things that are wrong or different. What can be harder to accept is how we should take a good look in the mirror and assess ourselves. We aren’t perfect. We will make mistakes. We will fall and fail often in our lives. The main hope is that as a result of everything that goes on in our lives, we can lead a successful life despite any challenges or obstacles thrown in our path.
In my family I have two children at two different places in their lives. I think one is certainly living through teenage confusion, bewilderment, and angst. Often the thinking side of the brain takes a vacation, and would rather let the in the moment side win out. She already works out scenarios for how things are going to play out when she’s going to face trouble, rather than just telling the truth and taking the consequences as they fall. Many times she’s surprised by our general easy going nature about certain issues.
The other child believes everyone else in the world seems to be at fault for the environment she’s dealing with, and unwilling to accept a small measure of responsibility for her actions. She doesn’t like the fact that we as parents have had to assert more control and say over what happens in her world- but she currently struggles to make the best decisions when given choice making or freedom. We welcome her back with open arms, but the feeling is from our end that she seems happy living in her own chaos and attempting to spin it across to the other family members.
I believe it’s great from time to time to take a personal assessment of your own life. Find out what you enjoy and find out what you think you may need to work on. Don’t be afraid to ask some of your close friends what some of your strengths are and see if they believe there are habits or aspects that you may need to improve. Don’t take this as criticism- use this as a barometer to lead a better, more fulfilling life.
I have to work at having a healthy, loving relationship with my wife, my children, and my extended family. I can’t expect to have successful friendships if I don’t put in the effort and care to make them grow. I engage in life, and it’s one of the things I’m very happy my wife has helped me realize through the years of our marriage. I’m a loner by nature, but if I expect to become a successful father and husband, I can’t just sit on the sidelines and not put in the time, energy and effort to care for my family.
The little things matter just as much as the big things. The special sandwich, running out to get medicine, filling up the gas tank when unasked, bringing home a special gift or treat, spending one on one time playing a favorite game, etc.- doing something for another without any regard for your own interest, plugging into the interest of the other completely. This makes me happy, and makes other around me happy. I’m passing these ideals along to my children.
Have a wonderful night, thank you again for all of your commentary and I sincerely appreciate the time you take to read my thoughts.