Wish It Was A Joke

It’s the start of a new month. I wish it was a joke that I’m having more mental health issues to handle in my life, but it’s not. Right now my oldest daughter is struggling with my youngest daughter’s behavior. So as a result, she’s afraid we can’t keep her safe. How does she handle it? Becoming more aggressive, threatening to run away, and stating that she wants to go back to her birth family.

So today we face another evaluation, another series of decisions to be made about where we go from here. I want my daughters to take space or seek out appropriate coping skills. That would be so much better than just lashing out at the people closest to you. Mental illness is something that can come on at the spur of a moment- you may not know the trigger but you better watch out when the explosion occurs.

I feel like sometimes closing the door to my apartment and just letting out a long winded scream. Other times I want to run to the lanes and bowl as many games as I can to take my stress out on the pins. There seem to be more questions and less answers- or at least the problems are tougher to solve as my children get older.

I haven’t been on a steady sleep schedule in a couple of weeks. I know I need to work on my own health issues to be beneficial for the care of my family. So please be patient as I hope to return to different types of blog entries in the near future. When mental health issues consume my world, they are something that’s difficult to just put on the back burner.

What do you do to let go? How do you empty your mind and approach life without thinking about yesterday, or the last negative interaction you may have had with someone? Don’t you wish you could reach into the other person’s brain, straighten out what needs to be fixed and move forward?

I know I have more to say but it’s just not coming to mind. I will read, I will sit with my children, I will close my eyes and think of positive thoughts. I will learn to laugh more and realize that as they go through this pain, I can be their soft pillow to soften their hurt. I will remain strong and fervent to the cause. I know they can lead happy, healthy and successful lives- it’s all a matter of choice.

Until next time, keep your friends close and be sure to let them know how grateful you are to have them involved in your lives. They may need that extra boost just in the nick of time, and I think we all need to feel loved and appreciated each day. Be good to yourself, think good thoughts and remember all of the victories you’ve had in your life- no matter how small or large.

At least I don’t have to worry anymore about rainy days…


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