Today my wife and I made a decision to slow down the energy force of both our children. They appear to be struggling with keeping the energy going in a positive direction. Our oldest daughter prefers the calmness of open air so we went to a park and did some walking while she looked out into the water at the geese and ducks floating away. We also went for an ice cream treat- letting her know that even through all of her recent struggles, we still love her, we still care and we will get her the support she needs.
Our youngest daughter got the chance to spend some quality time with her grandparents. When she came home we informed her that we are no longer willing to accept her negative energy and that if she desires to be a productive part of our family, we welcome this. However if she continues to struggle with inappropriate and unhealthy interactions, we will have to take corrective measures in that department to ensure a healthy household for all.
One of the things I loved hearing from all of the clinicians so far this week is what do my wife and I do to get some free time and just relax while all of this is going on. Luckily, we make the time. Even if it’s 30 minutes in the morning before she leaves to work, or the hour or two while the kids are asleep and before I head into work- we make the time. We laugh about favorite memories. We talk and listen to each other. We make sure to not spend all of our time discussing the children- and remembering what brought us together in the first place as husband and wife plus best friends.
Am I disappointed that certain aspects I normally enjoy got put on the back burner this week? Of course. But in my belief you only get one chance to make the right impression. There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for my family, especially when they are in need. I can bowl anytime, I can read anytime, I can write anytime, I can listen to music anytime, I could watch the television anytime- but I only get one chance to show my children I’m trustworthy, I’m dependable and that I can be their biggest help when they need support and strength to live.
So don’t be afraid to slow things down even if only in your mind if you feel like there’s too much coming at you from all sides of your life. We need to work on things one task at a time. Don’t be afraid to express your needs- because if you aren’t careful, you’ll be of no use to anyone else let alone yourself. Recognize your body needs adequate food, adequate sleep, adequate exercise and just adequate time to enjoy yourself having fun. Quiet the mind a couple of times a day- deep breathing, relaxation, visualization, or any other form of guided meditation.
We are keeping things proactive and we know that our days will be filling up quickly. You have to make sure your own personal energy tank gets filled up or else you won’t be able to work on others around you. We’ll keep you posted as the wonderful, summer-like weekend in my area approaches.