Today was a fabulous day. With a new found energy, I returned home from work in the morning, ready to great my daughters with a smile and a happy welcome. While one daughter accepted my warm greeting, the other appeared to be having difficulties with her morning routine. Even stating “good morning sunshine, I love you!” resulted in a scream-fest and “I hate you!” from her.
I didn’t let the fact that she was unhappy turn my smile upside down. I learned to laugh it off, because I could tell she never took in my words- she wanted to stay consumed in her anger. Which is fine if that’s how she wants to be, but I choose to look to a different form of energy from now on.
I went out to breakfast with my oldest. We had a good time. When I returned, my youngest apologized for her behavior. Later in the day she had another unhappy interaction with my wife and I on the car ride to an afternoon meeting. During her individual therapy, we not only went over these interactions, but we learned about repairs that need to happen for making my wife and I feeling unimportant.
These won’t be easy for her to do, but she needs to understand the ramifications of her words. A lot of times when we are mad, we don’t realize what we are saying. It’s one thing to say you hate someone in the moment, it’s another thing if you are unhappy with them to wish them harm in the outside world. So she’ll be spending time with my wife painting her nails as a repair, and also spending time with me in quality reading time.
I’m so glad we are experiencing the warm weather outside. Our family really prefers the open air, the ability to just roam outside and participate in different activities. We love parks, we love the water, we love watching nature in action, we enjoy talking. It’s important for us to be physically active as I think the endorphins can change any bad, depressing or frustrating mood into a better family dynamic.
So don’t despair if you feel like you are having a series of difficult days. There isn’t a problem that remains unsolved, especially if you learn to think of non-traditional approaches. Think outside the box. Plug into your family and see if there’s a way you can work out a schedule to do one preferred activity per person on a weekly basis. If the parents need some time to themselves, it’s fine to schedule a child-free date night- even if it’s a stay at home and relaxing time period.
I can’t believe at this point in time I’ve written over 300 posts in this blog. My life has taken a series of twists and turns, and I’m glad that I confidently strive into this spring with more support than I could ever imagine. I don’t take any of this for granted- it’s my hope to continue to offer not only my personal experience but also develop some tools for the readers to give you some support. We all need each other to live, to learn, and to love one another.
Until next time- take care of yourself and each other.