We know that as much as our children take steps forward in their progress, there will be slip ups. No one is perfect- and when it comes to mental health and the needs of a developing mind, we have to be patient when our children struggle. My oldest daughter currently is going through a phase of flashback trauma. The triggers can be quick and the effect can be instant ‘fight or flight’ mentality. She doesn’t remember who mom and dad are- we have to ground her in the sense of reminding her of our safety and security as we ride out these mini-storms.
She’s participated in EMDR sessions to work on some of her older issues. It’s a form of tap therapy where individuals are able to take memories and push them into the distant past, realizing that they can no longer harm them anymore. She’s agreed to a couple of sessions through the years on other past trauma issues and they’ve been successful in coping, so we may have to introduce another session as it seems over the past couple of weeks, the flashbacks are much more intense and happening with frequent regularity.
I want her to know that I still love her and that I’m not angry. I just want her to admit that she needs help to get better, and that we are the people who can get her the best therapy to combat these flashbacks. I wouldn’t want anyone to be stuck in trauma for the rest of their lives. I know that the outside world probably gets scared when they see these freak out moments. We have really good neighbors around us who’ve been patient as we educate them on our daughters and their mental health needs.
Even as my daughter got back into the car with my wife after this latest outburst, we still reminded her that we are here for the long haul and there’s nothing that she can’t work with us on. It’s scary. The mind having control over the body- and the ability to stop the negative events from controlling your id, ego and superego. All we can do is know that tomorrow is another day, and we work together to keep her feet on the ground and hopefully her mind in the here and now.
So if you are on a program of any kind where you want to change a habit or your lifestyle, understand that you aren’t going to be 100% all of the time. There may be slip ups, but do not punish yourself and throw in the towel forever. If you are on a diet and happen to purge on a dessert item, get back on the horse and start afresh with the very next meal. Learn from what temptation you gave into and move forward or put proactive measures in place so that you’ll be less likely to make the same choice again when faced with a similar set of circumstances.
Let your children know you love them no matter what. The truth is always better than living a lie. They need your unconditional love and support. Have a wonderful day.