Avoiding Conflict

I’ll admit when it comes to verbal confrontation, I tend to be very passive and hope that things subside through time. I find I can confront fears and insecurities better on paper or through blogging than I can face to face. Yet I know it’s an area of my life I’ve been working on.

When you feel a system is failing you, you have to rise up and stand on the shoulders of what’s right. We’ve learned with our children that you can survive and you can be free knowing that you went into a challenge with the other parties knowing your feelings and what you want. You may not necessarily get exactly the desired results, but it’s better than being silent and as a result having other people decided your fate.

My wife has taught me many lessons on just putting your thoughts and feelings on the table, because who knows what will come up. If we didn’t take the risk, we wouldn’t have all of the services in place that we have. You may be afraid of counselors and therapists and social workers and doctors and others in positions of power- but do not be afraid to assess situations and stick to your gut if you feel something isn’t going right.

Before taking my nap yesterday, my wife and I had a heart to heart about some of the little things we’ve been bantering back and forth about. It was good to see that we’ve noticed the similar funk that we’ve both been going through in the past six months since our children and their escalating mental health issues have taken place. We are able to look at serious issues honestly and recognize that we both play a part in the situation. As a result some changes may be made both large and small- and we will see if this helps to smooth out our household and the day to day functioning.

My youngest daughter talked with me when I took her out on a day pass from her treatment center about conquering one of her biggest fears: heights. She went on a special ropes course and realized that she’s a lot stronger about life than she originally thought. I praised her and let her know that if she can conquer a fear of heights, she can conquer anything that’s placed before her as long as she trusts her instincts and abilities. I’m hoping that this gives her renewed hope in reuniting with us in our home in a better place emotionally.

So don’t let conflicts weigh you down. View them as small challenges and see if there’s a way to step by step come to a resolution. It may not be something that comes easily or quickly, but I know that the more that we can lessen our stress the better we feel in terms of our total well being. Look at the parts of your life that you’ve been putting off for months or possibly years and see if you can get some of them tightened up. Seek assistance, seek counsel, seek outside resources- and come to a final decision yourself.


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