There is safety in closeness. There is safety in numbers. We preach safety within our home- because our children need to know that no matter what seems to be going on in their lives and their minds, they have a place where they can feel at home.
Right now my oldest daughter is struggling with a troubled mind. She doesn’t want to go to sleep at night. She wants to run away from the negative feelings and visions she sees and hears within her head. We know at this time it’s a struggle for her to be alone. If that means for the time being that she sleeps in a room with one of us in order for her to feel safe, that’s what has to be done.
I don’t want either of my children to ever feel like what’s happened in their past upbringing will occur again within our household. I’m saddened by what they’ve been through, and I want them to know that when they walk through these doors, they can be comfortable and cared for in the manner that they deserve and need.
My wife and I have been encouraging my oldest to talk with us about what’s going on- but she’s struggling to reveal all of the details. She wants to leave it to outside therapists- which would be acceptable, except for the fact that when most of her pain comes out, it’s at night before bedtime when the therapists are not around to help her process the feelings.
She seems to be worried about what the outside world would judge her about regarding her evolving brain and decision making. I keep trying to reinforce the fact that as a child, it’s perfectly acceptable to be going through these changes and messing up and learning from these mistakes or challenges. It’s part of socializing and learning what is acceptable around peers and family.
She can be mad at us for making decisions for her- but we have to think of her total well being. It may not seem cool right now, but I think in the long run we are doing the best we can on her behalf. I would rather do more for her and be proactive and cautious than to not do enough and as a result see serious adult repercussions.
It’s why we can handle multiple emergency room runs in the same week- or having 5 meetings in 5 different places for both children. We do what we have to do for the sake of our family. You put many of your own personal interests on the back burner. If certain friends aren’t able to understand, that’s their loss. We’ve found out through these 7 years with our children who we can count on and who we can’t.
So the feelings will eventually subside if you have safety and security at the forefront of your mind. Trust your instincts, your intuition doesn’t lie. It’s better to go with your senses and be overly protective than not to do anything and suffer serious ramifications.