The only way things progress in your life is through a steady work ethic and the desire to change. Many people think that change happens from the outside world and then turns inward. I disagree. You can have something that keeps the progress in the forefront of your mind- but ultimately if you as a person aren’t willing to do the work to change, it doesn’t matter what outside influence or environment you place around you- ultimately you won’t reach your promise.
I thought about the word promise after listening to a Bill Bartmann audio CD relating to how people wish to set goals, but he believes substituting the word promise for goal will make it more likely to stick in your subconscious. It’s harder to break a promise to yourself than it is a goal to yourself. I promise to cut soda out of my life- and I’m well over a month into this change. I promise to pay myself first- even when things appear tighter than normal- and I’m making sure to deposit this money into another bank account so it’s much more difficult for me to touch it.
I want to pass this discipline on to my children. They can change if they want to. I want them to change the way they handle frustration, pain and anger. I understand that my wife and I tend to be the closest outlet for them to release safely- and yet when the same patterns of behavior come into play and they won’t use the newer skills they’ve learned in therapy, it ends up frustrating us as parents. The hours and hours of back talk, stomping, screaming, psych evaluations, visits at treatment centers… can just put a tear on your mental psyche. Some days it’s easier to look for the negative than to look at a glimmer of hope.
My wife is my pick me up. When I feel like it’s a tough day, she gives me a kind word, a pleasant smile and the energy to get through it all. I can’t take things personally. I need to be the best father I can be to take care of them. I know that if I model appropriate behavior as a male, they’ll excel within their relationships with males. But I can’t push change- it has to come from within them. If they are disrespectful with my wife with words, I need to call them on it and make them do repair work. They need to realize there are positive and negative consequences, depending solely on their words and actions.
We have one month left in our school year. The summer is a great time in general to see where you are at for the year and your life, and size up where you want to make changes. Maybe it’s your health, maybe it’s your relationships, maybe it’s your finances, maybe it’s with your family, maybe it’s with your interests and hobbies. It can even boil down to your own personal development and working on your personality. Just don’t be afraid to step into change. What’s the worst that can happen? If you take a couple of missteps, just go back and start on a new path.
Look forward to more entries about the changes I make and how things progress within our family and my world.