As humans, we struggle with the idea of perfection. Society portrays ideals such as having the perfect life, the perfect house, the perfect body, the perfect job, and so forth. What exactly constitutes perfection anyway? Can’t we all realize that we are imperfect and that we have faults, and just accept ourselves for who we are?
I struggle with this in regards to my children. Being adopted, they may take on similar qualities to you as the years pass by and you grow together as a family. On the other hand, there are certain personality traits or characteristics that are not of your own doing that you are going to have to accept- or learn how to handle your reaction to them in the long run.
Both of my daughters focus on particular words instead of looking at the phrase or tone of voice around them. You could be saying something in a joking manner and they will take the negative word out of context, internalize it and now you’ve managed to put them down- even if that was nowhere near your intention. That’s why I’m very careful with what I say and how I say it- and know that there are times that I’m going to have to apologize for putting my words out there without really thinking about how the communication would be perceived.
Right now my oldest daughter is looking for a reason to be angry at the world. I know it’s part of being a teenager, but there are times I just want her to seek out happiness, or at least peace of mind. When will she realize that the whole world is not out to get her, and that people are just as confused and bewildered about what’s going on around them as she is? Does she have to engage in daily drama and worry one minute about people giving her dirty looks or saying something mean- or can she choose to be confident in who she is and learn to just let it go?
My youngest daughter wants so much to be accepted as she is. She’s been working harder at accepting others and showing her true emotions- something we’ve been wanting her to do for years. I think she still has a lot of work to do regarding trust- and we will be there every step of the way. We have to look at small steps forward rather than reflecting on the missteps she’s taken in the past.
I know I have a lot to work on- becoming more assertive with others as well as expressing my feelings in the moment rather than bottling them up inside to name just two- but habits are not changed in an instant. It’s a work in progress, something I have to be conscious of and willing to change as the next situation comes up in my life.
Don’t let the faults of your life drag you down. Strive to improve your life in small percentages each day. View each experience – positive or negative- as a learning experience. The ones that work out well, apply to other areas of your life. The ones that didn’t work out as well- don’t beat yourself up mentally and emotionally over them, just write them off as an experience you wish not to repeat ever again.
We have to love ourselves to express this emotion at its best for our family and our friends. Take the time to really look at where you are and where you want to be. Then look past the faults of your life and others- and enjoy what there is to see, to do, to have, and to be about the world.