I figure this would open up a debate on where you think a deal breaker is when it comes to your children and where you have to put your foot down to teach an important life lesson. We all know that as parents we have to pick our battles. As children get older and strive for autonomy and independence, you can’t be there all the hours of the day to keep your children away from making poor choices.
What would be a deal breaker for you? When it comes to safety and security? Do you put a premium on honesty, integrity, keeping up with their rooms, teaching them responsibility, household chores?
We are a week into both children being back at home. For the most part they’ve been working on adjusting to our expectations as parents. My oldest mentioned to me that she still has to break out of group home habits- even though she’s lived with us 7 years and was there for a little over a month. We are patient and not overbearing on every little issue.
I’m thinking about teaching an important lesson regarding personal property, because both girls have different feelings about touching or borrowing other people’s items. They’ll get furious if it happens to them, but not really have any qualms about taking items from others if they need it in the moment. They must not believe in their conscious the consequences are severe enough to stop them from this act.
When I was growing up I learned an important lesson regarding this in junior high. I ended up severing a couple of friendships because these kids thought it would be hilarious to steal from a big department store. Even though the cameras were right in front of the area they would be stealing from. I went into a line to buy something legitimate and didn’t know what they were doing. Security ended up stopping all 3 of us- and my parents were notified as we were at the mall with them.
So I guess I learned to be careful who I associate with, what my values were, and that I need to have money to be able to purchase stuff- not just take because I feel it’s my right to do so. I’d like to teach my girls this same ethic, but I feel that the impact has to be full force in order for it to stay with them.
Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated. Thank you again for your support of these posts- I really appreciate all the comments and debate that goes on. If it makes you think and you act in a different way, that’s a good thing. You are growing- you are showing that you care- and pass this help on to others in need.